For those of you who haven’t followed the Buhle Mkhize saga involving our now Finance Minister Malusi Gigaba and his wife Norma, the battle has a long and sordid history that goes back to 2015.
As mentioned by TshisaLIVE this is not the first time the threesome have been tangled up in a very gruesome war of words in the public space.
After Buhle created a stir when she posted screengrabs of an apparent conversation between herself and Norma on her Instagram page in 2015, she wrote an open letter on then gossip site Just Curious giving her side of the story.
Here is an edited version of the letter
I virtually met Malusi in early July 2014 via Instagram. We’d randomly started following each other on the network, discovered we shared the same sense of humour (and) that led to exchange of banter.
By the end of July he’d started sending me private messages that were very basic at first but quickly graduated to flirting ( Hello / Where are you from / I’d like to get to know you / You are so gorgeous / sexy ).
The messages were flattering but uncomfortable. I am married and had had a relationship with a public figure in the past and hated what comes with it, so this wasn’t the route I wanted to take even if I was single.
The messages went unanswered until about the second week in August. I can’t say for sure why I even responded, I blame the fact that the daily attention from someone can be intoxicating. I was going to sleep and waking up to his messages daily. He was clearly getting ready to get married, a fact he failed to mention to me – not that I can claim any innocence. I revealed being in a relationship and living with someone but I said nothing when he assumed it was just a boyfriend. He did question a certain post at some point where I’d posted a Cartier yellow diamond ring anniversary gift that he thought was more like a wedding anniversary gift and he was right. I dismissed the issue and deleted the picture.
Back to the ‘relations’. The first time I ever heard of him getting married was on his wedding day. I was on a girls’ getaway with my friends in Mexico, so him and I couldn’t actually speak on the phone.
He left a voicemail that I didn’t receive until I returned to the U.S but I received his Instagram message, which I shared with my friends. We then got into stalking mode that day and of course saw the wedding postings now that I was looking ( from other people, he didn’t post until Monday or Tuesday after the wedding).
Back to the story, I was so annoyed I didn’t respond to his Insta messages / calls or texts when I returned home. I actually took the whole thing as a sign that I should be focusing on my marriage but I should have known better. He’s a politician and they campaign for what they want. Before I knew it I was back on the phone with him again. He called a minimum of once a day every darn day.
Of course I questioned him not telling me he was getting married. He apologized and explained it as a fear I wouldn’t give him a chance if I knew. I then raised the WHY he’d so strongly pursue another woman in the middle of his vows. He explained that he’d been married in the past and had an ugly divorce that didn’t sit well with some of the public. He also said that he wanted to succeed politically and had kids with Norma and it wouldn’t be the right image for him to have the record of an ugly divorce and then a baby mama who, in his own words, basically cornered him into marrying her.
The communication continued / grew all through September into October, again daily and multiple times a day.
At the end October he had to take a week off to go to Dubai for their honeymoon. Please note that I have both a telegraphic and photographic memory. Point is that I’ll refer to exact pictures and give each quotes for some things.
Mind you, with the exception of gifts etc, I never posted about my man (The media claimed it was to protect Malusi’s feelings, BIG lie. ) I’ve been with this man since 2007 and we’ve NEVER posted a picture on any social media, we made a decision to not run our relationship on social networks even whiles we were just dating. He’s a very well known and highly respected entrepreneur who thinks social networks are a joke, well whatever).
What I did do is share less about gifts or mention of trips with the hubby so I went ballistic when I felt as though Malusi was throwing his marriage in my face. I cursed at him and told him to not post a thing about the honeymoon OR to never call me. The threats worked. She posted the honeymoon lovey dovey pictures daily (at this point she was following me, likely because she’s a naturally insecure person and wasn’t happy about the exchange Malusi and I had in public. Yes I followed her right back).
Anyway he posted a random picture or two of himself during this Dubai honeymoon period. He called but I was giving him the silent treatment until a day or two before he got back, I started texting back even though I was still spitting fire. I don’t know how but madam discovered those texts and went insane on me. I still just don’t understand her level of English comprehension. Her argument was that I need to stop throwing myself at her man. Apparently Malusi had denied me, claimed I just started sending him flirtatious messages on Instagram that he never responded to. He claimed I got his number from my connections resulting in the texts. I was appalled, not only at his lies but her reasoning. Like, are you reading and understanding the text content ? How’s a woman that’s throwing herself at your man threatening to dump him if he shows off your honey moon ?
After a few of these I was a bit sold. We’d never met in person so once I agreed to communicate again he felt that he wanted to resolve the matter in person. I have a feeling that you have a sense of what a bit of a crazy fireball I am, so I had been impossible with him, he had no choice but to pull all stops. Within two weeks he’d arranged my travel via someone. Before I knew it, I was in South Africa and a night in Cape Town turned into four days. Anyway, I ended up staying there for two weeks. I’d be with my family in KZN on weekends and then in Cape Town Monday to Thursday, he went to Pretoria on weekends.
At the end of the ‘visit’ we parted with an agreement that I’d come back two weeks later to celebrate my birthday ( this was towards end of November, my birthday is December 11). Unfortunately his father passed away on December 1, leading to not only the interruption of plans but Noma’s discovery that he’d not only unblocked me on Instagram but that the communication had never ended, worse we’d met in person.
He said he was frazzled that morning when his father passed away so he’d left his iPad unattended to and she went through messages. She came for me with no fail. Same accusations of me throwing myself at Malusi. Insults started pouring at this point, everything from me being uneducated, (Hello! I have two degrees on my back) having no man ( I’ve been married for years) to me being a prostitute (NEVER and will NEVER be).
My sisters intervened at this point and had words with her. Malusi denied we’d ever met and claimed she was reading too much into the messages. He said I’d seduced him and got him to a point of communicating about fantasies of actually meeting ( Huh ???).
I was blocked from his Instagram again and he was instructed to never ever call me. This is when my Noma apology happened. When this incident happened I felt upset about Malusi’s lies but did what I thought was taking the high road by letting her believe what she was choosing to believe and just apologizing and moving on. I pulled no records whatsoever, I was beyond shocked by her reading all these things and still accusing me, and to be honest I sort of felt badly and wanted out.
Right in the midst of all that I forgot my phone at home while gone to teach a yoga class. It has a password but when messages come in you can sort of read as you are likely aware. Malusi was back on his “get me back” campaign so the “my love let’s talk I miss you” messages were popping in the entire time I was gone.
I was devastated and unlike Malusi, I didn’t deny what had happened, especially because I felt I was through with him at that point and my hubby is no fool. I wanted to clean up and get on with my life. I wasn’t even able to really explain why this had happened. I have a wonderful man of similar, if not better financial status as Malusi, if that’s of any importance. He left that weekend to clear his head. I felt weak and confused and found myself in a situation I felt left me no choice but to be single. Please don’t ask why but I found myself right back in Malusi’s arms, sold on arrangements to have finances arranged for whatever I wanted for my birthday. I chose to go to the Dominican Republic with my crew and needless to say agreed to work things out with him.
In February hubby filed for the official separation. I fail to explain myself to family or friends but I was numb and okay with being practically single. Malusi didn’t count as a future to me but I was high on his not giving me up. The whole thing intensified when I was now separated . I don’t know how to dwell on things I can’t prove because all finances and travels were very carefully arranged in other people’s names, but yes, we saw each other. When we weren’t together it was the long calls that graduated to FaceTime. Mondays to Thursdays because he’d be in Cape Town while Norma was in Pretoria. It then just got to a point when I wasn’t sure when they hung out together because he’d be up around 1AM South African time chatting with me even when in Pretoria. I eventually asked and he gave his explanation including that they weren’t intimate.
Moving on to June this year, I get a call from Noma while I was in Joburg (She claimed my friend gave her my number). This was a day or two after returning from a week in Cape Town with Malusi. At this time she was questioning me about a certain event/ incident I would rather not disclose that occurred in December and she basically wanted to hear everything that had happened since her last communication with me.
I hung up on her multiple times and at some point I got fed up and told her to say whatever she needed to say once and for all and I let her know the communication and everything was and always had been because of her husband running after me. She responded with calling Malusi on a three way so I could hear what he says. He admitted to calling me a ‘ few times ‘ in 2014 and then claimed we hadn’t spoken since the last time they fought over me. Something clicked in my head and I thought enough is enough.
When he hung up I revealed EVERY detail to her very calmly. For once she stopped insulting me (she had me on the phone for two long hours or a bit more, to a point that she ran out of the battery and called me from their Pretoria home). Anyway, I told her everything and finally communicated woman to woman.
I actually felt sad for her when she spoke to me about very touching and personal details and once again apologized, sincerely so. She pleaded with me to break up with him and I promised I would.This is when Malusi went on a “keep me silent campaign”. He didn’t call it a that or a bribe. He claimed he was just giving me a gift because he felt badly that I’d lost someone I love and went through so much because of him. I was back in KZN at this point and his verse was now how much he loves me but must do what’s right, the usual married man crap.
Long story short, he arranged my ‘gift ‘ that was brought to the Hilton by a European guy and the SA intelligence guy who’s always been sort of the financial right man.
This was all not enough for Noma, she went on gossiping and insulting me. When that wasn’t enough she unblocked me on Instagram to start a war with me. I repeatedly explained that I have no interest and as I told her then and still mean it now, I’m committed to focusing on my voluntary work building a women empowerment movement. I regret being a part of something that hurt another woman. I however do feel that many times I took Malusi back not out of love or anything but to spite Noma for the insults and accusations about me running after her husband when he was the one doing all the running.